


What the frack?

by eryth_sea



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 03:03:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eryth_sea/pseuds/eryth_sea
Summary: Link came to realise that the Lanayru Mining Facility unearthed more than timeshift stones





	What the frack?

**Author's Note:**

> Here is something I banged out in an hour. Enjoy!

The sun was as unforgiving as ever, for it scorched everything it touched. Only the deadliest creatures could survive such a climate.

Link wiped his brow. Lanayru was cool in comparison to Eldin, but there was no escape from the heat. In a last bid for shelter, he made his way into the nearby mining facility.

The room was still too warm, but the hero was far less likely to get sunburn. The boy stared wistfully at a broken fan too far away from a timeshift stone. He needed to go deeper to get something refreshingly cool.

When he finally noticed a bunch of gorons, he thought the heat had made him go mad. He had never seen so many in one place. They huddled up in a way that made it look they were hiding something. Link decided to hide behind a wall and eavesdrop.

"This is the discovery of the century, brother!" exclaimed one.

"Not so loud," said another. "Someone might-"

They had noticed him. The wall was not well-hidden after all.

"Um," he said, struggling to find the right words as he turned came out from his hiding place. "What are you doing?"

The gorons looked at each other, hoping one of them would say something. Finally, one of them sighed before turning to the hero.

"We found fuel under this facility," he was vague. Too vague.

"Fuel for?" Link asked. He had assumed the mechanisms he came across in his travels were powered by magic from a dead goddess.

A humming noise from his sword was Link's only warning before Fi appeared. The sword spirit's sudden appearance made the gorons tense up instinctively.

"Master Link, there is an 85% chance the fuel the gorons are referring to is oil. It was used to power vehicles before the war between the Goddess Hylia and the Demon King."

The academy had a lesson on the ancient vehicles two years ago. He had been transfixed by a drawing of two-wheeled vehicle in one of the textbooks. It also claimed it was as fast on the ground as a Loftwing was on the sky. Until now, Link thought it was a myth.

"What happened?" he asked.

"The oil stores were depleted by the the time the war ended," said Fi, matter of factly. 

The gorons nodded to affirm Fi's information. All of them were eager to get this oil out by any means.

"Think of what we can bring back," said the leader. "We could get the trains working again. Productivity would rise!"

That hope was quickly dashed by Link's companion.

"There is an issue with the location of the oil," she said. "It is deep underground. The process to pump it out would require a significant amount of water from Faron."

The gorons turned to each other with apprehension in their eyes. None of them would dare ask the patron dragon of that region. They knew she would be extra wary of them after she was attacked.

"I could ask her," Link said. "But only if you do me a favour."

* * *

"Master Link, I can't believe you are wasting resources like this," said Fi. She had been in a sour mood ever since she realised how big a diversion Link's plan was. 

"They would have run out anyway," Link said. "And besides, I have an old friend to meet."

He could feel Fi sulking within his blade. He could understand why, but he was too exited about his new toy to care. When he finally saw his friend, he gave a cheery wave. 

"Its-a Link!" Mario cried out. "I'm-a so glad you came"

"Me too," said Link. "I can't believe I can finally do this."

"Where did you get that bike?" 

"I cashed in a few favours," he said, stroking the Master Cycle. There was no way he could explain what he did to obtain it. Mario would refuse to invite him to the next tournament.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it," said the plumber. "Can I give it a try?"

"Maybe later," Link said as he mounted his motorcycle. "The race is about to start,"

Link was at the back of the starting line, with Mario in front. He eyed the Lakitu holding the lights. They were red at the moment.

The moment they shifted to yellow he revved his engine, only releasing the brake when he saw the change to green.

He had timed it perfectly, he realised as he sped in front of the competition. He didn't let that get to his head, however. One thing he knew about Mario Kart was that anything could change.

He didn't mind, though. No matter how the race would end, Link was happy he could finally take part.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by an argument against someone who used the word "fracking" instead of a swear word.


End file.
